When I was young boy, I was afraid of the dark. I just didn’t like
the feeling of being alone. I am an only child and at that time of my life I absolutely
hated it. Especially, when I was about to go to bed. It seemed as if
my imagination would play games with me. I even remember recounting a
memory to my father about a short, green-eyed, alien visiting me at night. It
stood in my doorway and just stared at me! I think that was the same night I
watched “E.T.” for the first time (go figure). At a very young age, maybe 4 or
5, I would love when my dad would stay up and work late nights in his office.
It helped me to feel that I wasn’t alone, that someone was looking out
for me, someone was protecting me. The dim desk lamp from my dad’s office
would give off a soft white, glow into my room and just that little bit of
light most nights, gave me peace.
As you can imagine, some nights were worse than others and when
those occurred, I would wake up and run to my parents’ room, frantic that
all the lights were off! I can still hear my dad’s whispered words to me as he
scooped me up and groggily said, “Dale, fear is just ‘False, Evidence, Appearing,
Real’. There is nothing to be afraid of.” He would routinely carry me
to my room, lay me down, walk down the hallway to turn on that office desk
lamp, come back to me and say, “See!”, as he smiled, “There’s nothing here.
Nothing to fear.”
I am very grateful for the relationship I have with my dad. He is a strong, loving, smart, funny, caring,
and merciful man and father. All characteristics I would use to
describe my heavenly Father, God. To my shame I can quickly
forget that although my dad needed to eventually go back to bed
himself and sleep, my heavenly Father is always awake and always
watching over me! And it is His light that shines bright into
my “room” (life) so that I do not fear.
As I grew old, my fear of the dark switched to a fear of not being
accepted and a fear failure. Middle school, high school, college, my
struggle was not making friends, but keeping close ones. I had a hard time
letting people know who I really was and what I really thought. A traumatic
experience of my house being broken into at age 13, and personally hearing the
intruder attack my father, is what I believe, was the catalyst that closed my heart off to
letting others in. I would put up “invisible walls” in my heart and not let even the closest of friends see my real hurts
or problems.
This is an issue that I often battled as a disciple of Jesus Christ. I would close myself off to my discipler or mentor, and other Christians in my
life, through deflection tactics and deception. My desire to want to be glorified and be accepted, by man, got so bad that I let the deceit destroy my relationship with God and His Kingdom.
I have learned in this past year, more than ever, that God simply wants my heart. He’s a jealous God and doesn’t want my room filled up with
other “stuff”! The Pharisees had a measly understanding of what it meant to obey God. Matthew 23:26 “Blind
Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.” Most of these Pharisees were hypocritical
because they went after “looking” good rather than just “being” good! 1 Samuel 16:7b “…The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” God is looking into your heart, right now. What do you think he sees…? He is the Father that you need and He gives the peace that you crave! His “perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18). A life walking in His “light” is the only answer to not fearing the night, for “…God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” (1 John 1:5)
– Dale Bryant
Recent Comments